Ephesians 4:29: How Are Messianics to Properly Communicate? – February 2026 Outreach Israel News

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John McKee delivers the February 2026 Outreach Israel News update. What important lessons are there from Ephesians 4:29? How many of us heard this passage quoted so many times, that we often fail to sort through its significance—especially for a faith community like ours, which faces so many difficulties?

Ephesians 4:29 may not seem to be that important a verse in the Bible for some of us (at least right now), but considering some of the challenges faced by today’s emerging Messianic movement, it is a very important verse for us to examine. Writing a diverse group of non-Jewish Believers in Asia Minor, many of whom he had never met in person (Ephesians 1:15; 3:2; 4:21), the Apostle Paul’s words about proper speech or communication appear as he substantiated what it meant to “put on the new self” (Ephesians 4:24, NASU). Born again Believers are to have different and distinguishable behavior than those of the world, as they each function as a part of God’s corporate Temple (Ephesians 2:20-22; 1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19). How do we properly apply Paul’s instruction for ancient times, considering the development of our own faith community and how the Lord would have us be men and women who communicate properly for the betterment of others?

The Significance of Ephesians 4:29: The New Self

Paul’s admonishment to his audience to speak properly occurred within a series of instructions, where they were to “lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit” (Ephesians 4:22, NASU). This old person is a reflection only of their previous way of life as former pagans, where their mind was darkened and their heart was hardened (Ephesians 4:17-18). This was a lifestyle widely marked with ignorance of the One True God and with sexual immorality (Ephesians 4:19; cf. Romans 1:24-28), concurrent with ancient Jewish stereotypes of the heathen (i.e., Wisdom of Solomon 14:12).[1] The new self requires that Paul’s readers “be renewed in the spirit of your mind” (Ephesians 4:23, NASU), being transformed by the Lord to think and perform actions which were contrary to the way they used to think and act prior to salvation. This new self “has been created in the righteousness and holiness of the truth” (Ephesians 4:24, NASU), and was to involve the full restoration of the image of God upon the individual (Colossians 3:10; Genesis 1:26), being a reflection of His perfect ethical character.

Substantiating some of the major features which constitute the new self, Paul instructed his readers to lay aside falsehood (Ephesians 4:25; cf. Zechariah 8:16), to not let the Sun go down on one’s anger (Ephesians 4:26; cf. Psalm 4:4), and to not give the Devil any kind of opportunity among them (Ephesians 4:27). He told his audience also, “He who steals must steal no longer” (Ephesians 4:28a, NASU). Of all the commandments which could have been singled out here, why is the ordinance against stealing referred to? While this is certainly a reaffirmation of the Eighth Commandment (Exodus 20:15; Deuteronomy 5:19), it gives interpreters a very important clue as to the social strata from which they originate. Peter T. O’Brien indicates, “it is likely that this exhortation informs us about the kind of people who became Christians in the first century, not least in Asia Minor.”[2] Maxie D. Dunnam further describes, that many of the early non-Jewish Believers “came from the dregs of society (cf. 1 Cor. 1:28-29; 1 Pet. 4:16). Many of them were slaves, and among slaves, stealing was regarded as normal.”[3]

Slaves were commonly accused of theft (Titus 2:10; Philemon 18), and thievery was one of the high sins listed not only in the Torah, but in the Ten Commandments themselves. Knowing about this is an excellent clue for us as Messianic people today as to why Paul’s epistles seem to deal more with the ethical and moral issues of the Torah, as opposed to some of the finer points we believe God is restoring the importance of today. When we take into consideration the social circumstances of his audience(s)—especially if many of them were former slaves who were used to stealing—we do see the obvious fact that some issues are more important than others. After stealing was targeted by Paul as unacceptable behavior for the people of God, it is then that he could say “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth…” This may have been a common trait of the slave class as well, ranging from the use of profanity to speaking against others, particularly those with greater means, education, and/or social standing.

Unlike Ephesians’ likely audience, most Messianics today do not come from some kind of “slave class” where stealing is the norm. Instead, one mainly encounters Jews from a professional middle class who have met their Messiah and who want to rightly maintain their Jewish heritage. Likewise, one also encounters non-Jewish Believers who are looking for greater refinement and enrichment for their Christian faith. Yet within such people, especially in the zeal of many to recapture a Torah obedient lifestyle and to be identified as part of the Commonwealth of Israel (Ephesians 2:11-13), there has become a distinct tendency to ignore or even disregard key ethical and moral features of the Tanach.

One of those key ethical and moral features is the requirement for God’s people to communicate properly and graciously—being a reflection of His love and who He is in the world—a love which should change sinners into saints! Not letting impure speech come forth from our lips is a significant part of being a new person in the Lord, and Ephesians 4:29 is a significant Scripture verse we must pay heed to as we consider our future development as a movement.

“No Unwholesome Word”

The first part of Paul’s instruction in Ephesians 4:29 is pas logos sapros ek tou stomatos humōn mē ekporeuesthō, “Let no corrupt word out of your mouth go forth” (YLT). Born again Believers who have put on the new self must speak properly, and what comes out of their mouths is a reflection of what is in their hearts. Yeshua Himself said, “the things which proceed out of the man are what defile the man” (Mark 7:15b, NASU), a definite statement that positive things are what should be spoken by one who has taken on the new self.

The adjective to take important note of here is sapros, with its related verb sēpō often meaning “to cause to decay.” As an adjective “saprós means ‘rotting,’ either literally or figuratively, and the sense of ‘unpleasant’ (even to the ears) is also possible…In general, what is saprós is ‘unserviceable’ rather than ‘offensive,’ but the word may also mean ‘harmful’ or ‘notorious’ (someone’s name)” (TDNT).[4] From one end of the spectrum logos sapros is “unserviceable speech,” and to the other end logos sapros is “notorious speech.” This would include statements which are idle and can serve no purpose for Believers, to things which not only are harmful and cause decay to them, but can actually cause Believers to have a bad reputation. Proverbs 2:21 reminds us, “A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, favor is better than silver and gold” (NASU; cf. Ecclesiastes 7:1a).

In his paralleling letter, Paul targeted “abusive speech from your mouth” (Colossians 3:8, NASU) as needing to be put away by the Colossians. This should not be a difficult concept for any of us to understand, as the verbal speech of a born again Believer should stand in stark contrast to that of a non-Believer. Love for God, emanating from a transformed heart, should manifest itself in a way of speech which is noticeably different from those who are corrupted by evil, being a distinct manifestation of “all humility and gentleness” (Ephesians 4:2, NASU).

None of us should disagree with F.F. Bruce’s comment that “foul language of any kind is inappropriate on lips that confess Christ as Lord,” as he specifically classifies this to be “not only obscene vulgarity but slanderous and contemptuous talk, any talk that works to the detriment of persons addressed or of those spoken about.”[5]

Speaking graciously is a significant virtue seen in the Book of Proverbs:

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad” (Proverbs 12:25, NASU).

“A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word!” (Proverbs 15:23, NASU).

“Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances” (Proverbs 25:11, NASU).

Proper concern for what comes out of a person’s mouth is also seen in Proverbs:

“The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, but the perverted tongue will be cut out. The lips of the righteous bring forth what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked what is perverted” (Proverbs 10:31-32, NASU).

“He who speaks truth tells what is right, but a false witness, deceit. There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips will be established forever, but a lying tongue is only for a moment” (Proverbs 12:17-19, NASU).

One of the poignant rules of the Qumran community, as seen in the DSS, was, “in cursing or as a blurt in time of trial or for any other reason, or while he is reading a book or praying, [he] is to be expelled, never again to return to the society of the Yahad” (1QS 7.2-11).[6] This is how serious at least one ancient Jewish sect viewed improper speech. While today’s Messianic congregations and synagogues are unlikely to expel anyone who might use a curse word, or speak improperly from time to time—are such people even censored or asked to give an apology (public or private) when logos sapros manifests itself? Surely in today’s Body of Messiah, individuals should be mature enough to acknowledge a mistake when it is made—especially one made with their mouths—and offer restitution. Likewise, individuals (especially leaders) should be mature enough to speak against improper attitudes and statements which find their way circulating in the midst of the assembly, seeing to it that they are stopped.

“A Word for Edification”

The second part of Paul’s instruction in Ephesians 4:29 is alla ei tis agathos pros oikodomēn tēn chreias, “but what is good unto the needful building up” (YLT). Those things which are spoken are not to be corrupt words, but instead have the capacity “for edification” (NASU), meaning they are to be “helpful” (NIV). Oikodomē is not an unimportant term within the scope of Ephesians. As it regards Ephesians 4:29, it largely concerns “spiritual strengthening…edifying, edification, building up” (BDAG).[7] This reaffirmed Paul’s statement made previously in Ephesians 4:12, as those in spiritual service are “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ” (RSV).

For the most part oikodomē simply means a “process of building, building, construction,” or “a building as result of a construction process, building, edifice” (BDAG).[8] In the Septuagint, its related verb forms are employed to render the Hebrew banah, in specific prophecies detailing the restoration of Israel:

“For I will set My eyes on them for good, and I will bring them again to this land; and I will build them up [Heb. MT u’benitim; Grk. LXX kai anoikodomēsō autous] and not overthrow them, and I will plant them and not pluck them up” (Jeremiah 24:6, NASU).

“Again I will build you and you will be rebuilt [Heb. MT od ev’neikh v’niv’neit; Grk. LXX eti oikodomēsō se kai oikomēthēsē], O virgin of Israel! Again you will take up your tambourines, and go forth to the dances of the merrymakers” (Jeremiah 31:4, NASU).

“I will restore the fortunes of Judah and the fortunes of Israel and will rebuild them [Heb. MT u’benitim; Grk. MT kai oikodomēsō autous] as they were at first” (Jeremiah 33:7, NASU).

The critical clause related to this expectation appears in Matthew 16:18: oikodomēsō mou tēn ekklēsian. This is where Yeshua says “I will build my assembly” (YLT), a clear reaffirmation of the Prophet Jeremiah’s prophecies that Israel will be restored. It is not unimportant that a lexical definition of the verb oikodomeō does include, “to restore by building, to rebuild, repair” (Thayer).[9] So, it can be said that the Messiah of Israel came to rebuild or repair the assembly of Israel—bringing it into its fullness (Ephesians 4:13). O’Brien, somewhat surprisingly, notes that the language of Ephesians 4:12 describing the building up of the Body of Messiah, is appropriated from Tanach references detailing the restoration of Israel:

“According to the prophetic literature of the Old Testament, the restoration of Israel after the judgment of exile is promised in terms of God building a people for himself…and this he does by putting his words in the mouths of his prophets (Jer. 1:9-10). Matthew 16:18…expresses the idea that as the Messiah Jesus is the one who builds or establishes the renewed community of the people of God.”[10]

Knowing that the “building” Paul refers to in Ephesians involves more than just supernatural growth—but a specific kind of growth which relates to Israel’s restoration—should not be that surprising. As their former selves (Ephesians 4:22) most of Paul’s audience “were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world” (Ephesians 2:12, NIV). Not being a part of the Commonwealth of Israel, they were cut off from the promises of redemption. Faith in Yeshua changed this, as “you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Messiah” (Ephesians 2:13, NASU). This previous status of being first separated from the polity of Israel, and secondly and far more seriously of being cut off from the One True God, had now been reversed. Because of the redemptive work accomplished by Yeshua at Golgotha (Calvary), the one new humanity of Jewish and non-Jewish Believers can emerge (Ephesians 2:15). This one new humanity is to function as God’s Temple in the world (Ephesians 2:20-22), a conduit of His presence so that all might be redeemed.

The Body of Messiah is to recognize Yeshua as its Head (Ephesians 4:15),[11] meaning that He is its origin. The thoughts of Yeshua are to permeate down to the diverse parts, as “every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love” (Ephesians 4:16, NASU). If Yeshua is the brains of His Body, then those who compose His Body should naturally think and act like Yeshua (Ephesians 4:23). The way which Yeshua communicated and served others self-lessly—dying (Ephesians 5:25b) for the ekklēsia—is the same way Believers are to communicate and serve others self-lessly. The community which is enlivened by the work of Yeshua is to be a group of people bound by His love, something which is obviously contingent on proper and positive speech.

As Messianic Believers, we need to take note of interwoven references to the restoration of Israel’s Kingdom within the Scriptures—especially in letters like Ephesians. The Apostle Paul surely did not expect the ekklēsia to accomplish its mission of being a Commonwealth of Israel maximized unless God’s people—yes, a diverse people made up of Jewish and non-Jewish Believers united in common cause—could communicate properly. Anything they would say to one another must be for edification and helping.

“Ministering to Others”

The third part of Paul’s instruction in Ephesians 4:29 is hina dō charin tois akouousin, “that it may give grace to the hearers” (YLT). Those who speak to one another are to have the capacity by the Holy Spirit inside them to “benefit those who listen” (NIV).

To what degree Paul intended proper communication to be manifest among his audience, was something which had both external and internal factors. Surely if one can learn to speak properly around fellow Believers, then the same person will speak properly outside of the local congregational body. Some commentators, such as Pheme Perkins, suggest that “The concern for speech aimed at the religious edification of the hearer suggests conversation among fellow believers, not interaction with outsiders.”[12] Even if a more internal situation within the congregations of Asia Minor was being addressed, outside behavior was surely important as well, something seen by Paul’s prior instruction against stealing (Ephesians 4:28).

What we say to one another—especially fellow Believers who know and love Yeshua as much as we do—is to be a reflection of the unity we are to have. The Apostle Paul has said, “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3, NIV), listing some distinct things which are to unite diverse groups of Believers:

“There is one body and one Ruach, just as you also were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one immersion; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all” (Ephesians 4:4-6, TLV).

Believers’ relationship to the Father is because He is “over all and through all and in all,” a likely allusion to Malachi 2:10: “Do we not all have one father? Has not one God created us?” (NASU). If we are all children of the same Father, then we are certainly to be united as His people. Likewise, there is a common humanity which is to bind us all together. Each of us, whether Jewish or non-Jewish, are equalized before our Creator because of sin (Romans 3:9). Yet, the unity in Messiah we are to have, concerns not only the mission the ekklēsia has on this Earth in proclaiming Him, but has cosmic dimensions that are affected by Yeshua’s exaltation over the universe (Ephesians 1:20-23). This is why Paul considered it so important that “we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Messiah” (Ephesians 4:13, NASU). What God has done via the Body of Messiah, in uniting Jewish and non-Jewish Believers, is a depiction of the grand redemption which will blanket all Creation in the eschaton.

The instruction “Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you” (Ephesians 4:29, Good News Bible), is something we might need to take to more serious heart as the Messianic community. How does Paul’s instruction about gracious speech toward the building up of the assembly affect our development? How do we as Messianic Believers speak among ourselves? Do we expel the effort to truly watch what we say, and in particular the attitude in which we say things?

There is a great deal of talk in our faith community about what Judaism calls lashon ha’ra or the “evil tongue.” Experience, now for over three decades (1995-2026) has taught me, though, that much of what Messianics describe as “lashon ha’ra” is just a cosmetically Hebrew or Jewish way of making ourselves feel better, with little understanding and application of what is actually being referred to. An evil tongue which speaks maliciously and spreads gossip is very much alive in the Messianic community, and not enough have the courage to speak out against slander, mischief, and half-truths or half-falsehoods which circulate in our midst. Perkins, addressing a Christian audience, suggests,

“Perhaps Christians could contribute to cleaning the verbal air. Christian speech does not mean verbally assaulting others with our religion at every turn. It does mean a higher standard of verbal interaction with others than many of us practice.”[13]

For a very long time I have been a strong advocate of our Messianic faith community adopting a conversation approach toward how we approach the controversial issues of the day. I believe that we should focus on the common elements of faith first, which unite us with other brothers and sisters, and from there carefully and reasonably discuss our various differences. Unfortunately, this has not always been attainable. Too many are insecure, and are just downright fearful about the future and seeing a new phase of Messianic growth and development emerge.

How can today’s Messianics learn to properly communicate?

The Apostle Paul said that in order for Believers to put on the new self, proper speech or communication must be present. With this came a severe warning: “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:30-31, NASU). Each one of us in our individual lives has said things we regret, and has not contributed to the unity of our families, the comradeship we are to have with our friends, or perhaps we have caused cracks within the Body of Messiah itself. Yet if we are to be changed by the Holy Spirit, we are to strive to speak things which can truly help and offer solutions—especially to other Believers with whom we share a common hope of salvation.

I frequently find myself concluding that much of the communication style, one is likely to witness within the broad Messianic community, has not been that edifying to the Lord. If it were, then a ministry like Outreach Israel and Messianic Apologetics would not have to spend some of the time it does taking on various issues or matters, and we could instead deal with more of the external challenges which face us.

If the Messianic movement is truly something of our Heavenly Father—and I believe it is—then our communication style is bound for some significant changes in the future. We will be more concentrated beacons of light and understanding, which radiate God’s love. We will have discernment to know when we should speak, and when we should keep our mouths shut. And above all, we will not add insult to injury. We will deal with sin and confront it properly and poignantly, but we will not rub such sin in the sinners’ faces.

Only when we learn to communicate properly, speaking words of edification, can and will God’s Kingdom be restored. Let us all work toward this objective in the new seasons of service unto Him, fast approaching us!

NOTES

[1] There is a mass of ancient literature on the subject which substantiates this Jewish view of the nations. Cf. Andrew T. Lincoln, Word Biblical Commentary: Ephesians, Vol. 42 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1990), 279.

[2] Peter T. O’Brien, Pillar New Testament Commentary: The Letter to the Ephesians (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1999), 342.

[3] Maxie D. Dunnam, The Preacher’s Commentary: Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Philemon, Vol 31 (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1982), 214.

[4] O. Bauernfeind, “saprós,” in Geoffrey W. Bromiley, ed., Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, abridged (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1985), 1000.

[5] F.F. Bruce, New International Commentary on the New Testament: The Epistles to the Colossians, to Philemon, and to the Ephesians (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1984), pp 262-263.

[6] Michael Wise, Martin Abegg, Jr., and Edward Cook, trans., The Dead Sea Scrolls: A New Translation (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 1996), 135.

[7] Frederick William Danker, ed., et. al., A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature, third edition (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000), 696.

[8] Ibid., pp 696, 697.

[9] Joseph H. Thayer, Thayer’s Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson, 2003), 440.

[10] O’Brien, Ephesians, pp 304-305.

[11] Grk. kephalē.

[12] Pheme Perkins, “The Letter to the Ephesians,” in Leander E. Keck, ed., et. al., New Interpreter’s Bible, Vol. 11 (Nashville: Abingdon, 2000), 430.

[13] Perkins, in NIB, 11:432.