Marriage in the Tanach: One Man and One Woman
Genesis and the First Marriage
Some of the most important figures in the Tanach Scriptures had multiple wives, so what is the problem? There are, in fact, many problems to be explored when considering whether or not polygamy is an acceptable practice for today’s Body of Messiah. Was it the ideal at Creation for the man to have more than one wife? When a man has more than one wife, is he truly fulfilled emotionally and spiritually with his multiple spouses? Is the family where one man has multiple wives and children from those multiple wives, truly a place of love and affection, or one of discord and suspicion? Does the Bible portray men who had polygamous relationships as being genuinely fulfilled, and children who were true examples of godliness? Does a man having multiple wives express the sentiment that he places great value on women, or that they are simply property to be acquired? And, how many in the Biblical period actually had the financial means to afford more than one wife? Does the Bible really lend support to the practice of polygamy today?
No one who reads the Bible denies that polygamy—the practice of a man having more than one wife—is seen within the text. The Patriarch Jacob, who was the progenitor of the Twelve Tribes of Israel, had two wives and two concubines (Genesis 31:17; 37:2). King David, who was testified by the Lord to be “a man after His own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14), had multiple wives (1 Samuel 18:17-30; 25:38-43; 2 Samuel 3:2-5). King Solomon, whom many consider to be the wisest man who ever lived, had hundreds of wives and concubines (1 Kings 3:1; 11:3) that made up an entire harem (Song of Songs 6:8).
“So what is the problem?” it is said. “Some of the most important figures in the Tanach Scriptures had multiple wives, and so Messianic men today should be able to have multiple wives as well. YHWH is restoring Biblical patriarchy! Women need to learn their place.”
There are, in fact, many problems to be explored when considering whether or not polygamy is an acceptable practice for today’s Body of Messiah. Was it the ideal at Creation for the man to have more than one wife? When a man has more than one wife, is he truly fulfilled emotionally and spiritually with his multiple spouses? Is the household where one man has multiple wives and children from those multiple wives truly a place of love and affection, or one of discord and suspicion? Does the Bible portray men who had polygamous relationships as being genuinely fulfilled, and children who were true examples of godliness? Does a man having multiple wives express the sentiment that he places great value on women, or that they are simply property to be acquired? And, how many in the Biblical period actually had the financial means to afford more than one wife? Does the Bible really lend support to the practice of polygamy today?
How have people in today’s broad Messianic movement approached the letters of the Apostle Paul?
With a handful of exceptions—and mostly among individual people attending Messianic congregations and fellowships, who are most probably going to keep their views private at the present—the Messianic movement of today is strongly complementarian. The majority of marriage relationships in today’s Messianic movement are centered around some complementarian model of the husband having the final authority or final say, at least on a selection of issues. The majority of today’s Messianic congregations are led by not only males, but married males. Are there any marriage relationships in today’s Messianic movement, where the husband and wife are co-leaders of the family, and a mutual submission ideology is practiced with decisions made by the consensus of both spouses? Are there any Messianic congregations today which incorporate females into the leadership structure, and where females at least serve as deacons?
“In spite of some of Paul’s own personal opinions, celibate singleness is not at all to be encouraged in the Body of Messiah.”
“Paul had a high regard for women, but his writings do not permit females serving in high positions of leadership in the Body of Messiah.”
“The writings of the Apostles make it clear that wives are to submit to their husbands.”
“Women occupying positions of prominence or leading is an exception in the Bible; it is not something normative to God’s order.”
